We all fuck up. We’re all human. We mean something and do something else. We accuse when it’s uncalled for and say things we wish could instantly reel back. It’s going to happen. It’s inevitable… for everyone and not one single human is immune to it.
Take me using the word “fuck” for example. I have plenty of family and friends that will read this and think I am a lost soul for using it. I could regret it and focus on what they think of me and how I have disappointed them and their expectations of what it means to be a good person. And if I did, I will certainly destroy compassion for myself and (as an additional consequence) the ability to connect authentically with other people.
[Obviously, I have no problem using the word. I’m just making a point. I sincerely and wholeheartedly believe that the word “fuck”, that ANY word is the equivalent to the energy behind it when it is uttered. For example, there are situations where the word “fuck” is the most appropriate, most perfect, most honest word that can be uttered; and other moments when it is absolutely vile and evil. Both situations depend on the emotion and belief of the person when it is used.]
When you hold yourself to the standards of others, you suffocate of the purest, most innocent part of who you are. And if you internally beat yourself up for it, it is impossible to access authenticity. If you can’t access authenticity, you are unable to connect to the humanity of others. Hence, you will not feel compassion. Any action not rooted in compassion (whether it is the softest touch or tough love) will bring separation, misunderstanding, and war on varying levels.
Be kind to you. Take in what others have to say, process it, look at it like you would an elaborate, gold orb in your hand, but don’t make what they say who you are. What is most important is that you stay in forgiveness of you. Be critical of your thoughts and words and actions, but be internally kind also. Good things will follow and will pick up speed and become an exponentially large part of your life.
“The harshest critic is our internal dialog. When we are unkind to ourselves, it is impossible to be genuine and kind to others.” -Amy Larson, amyjalapeno.com