Everyone works through fear in their own way. And what a wonderful world it would be if we didn’t let our inner monologue become apart of our dialog with others. (a little something I did yesterday. *sigh* Dammit.)
Everyone needs a safe place to vent. Some of us use journals to work it out. Some of us have spouses and/or friends that are immune to our venting. And sometimes all that churning simply makes things worse, regardless the safety of the place.
The ideal method for me is yoga. But I still get surprised. I’ll get an email or text message right before walking into a staff meeting (like what happened yesterday), in between patients, or in the middle of a Wal-Mart isle buying toilet paper, and I am just not in the best place to go into camel pose (or before I had yoga, a dark corner to bawl in the fetal position).
Really, the only thing you can do in those awkward/”I need to vent, but I can’t” moments is breathe – to focus on your expanding and contracting lungs – to hear and feel your heart beat at the peak and valley of breathing. You’d be surprised how well it allows you to take a step back from the drama. You’ll see things clearer. You’ll respond better. And if you’re lucky, you’ll realize how exceptionally you have screwed up, feel the pain of it, and then let it go so you can forgive yourself. The situation may not change, but your perception of it will.
So yeah, just breathe.
P.S. Eventually, you will need a hug.