If you want to be your own hero and strengthen your inner self-reliance, there are two questions you must ask:

1) Do I give power and attention to toxic ideas and people?

2) Am I a toxic person?

Toxicity is basically:

– Being judgmental, especially when you don’t have all the facts, which you will never have, because nobody knows absolutely everything there is to know about a person + you are not God.

– The insatiable urge to talk about the mistakes, travesties, and faults of other people. Basically, being a gossip.

-Thriving on revenge, because you have all the facts and know they deserve it. (Can you feel the sarcasm?)

-Reveling in the failure of others. Even if you are “just joking”, it is still toxic and makes a negative ripple affect in situations and with people that that person will have to live with. In short, you are placing a psychological burden on that person and then laughing about it. Yeah. Toxic.

-Anxiety and the insatiable need to fix an undesirable or uncomfortable situation. Most often, if you just wait it out, things tend to resolve quicker than if you were to jump in with all your “knowledge and advice”. Most people try to be the hero in this way and end up repelling people, rather than inspiring them. Wait, listen, then act… or not.

If you want to strengthen your inner self-reliance, work on recognizing the difference between toxic behavior and authenticity. Behavior infused with negative emotion decays the soul. Innocence, reticence, and equanimity strengthen it.